One of the root causes of entitlement in Karens is unrealistic expectations from parents or peers. Unrealistic expectations can lead to stress, anxiety and low self-esteem.
Studies show that Asian American parents tend to hold higher expectations than other racial/ethnic groups. Some reports also find that these expectations may influence students’ academic performance in later grades (Glick and White 2004; Hao and Bonstead-Burns 1998; Okagaki and Frensch 1998; Peng and Wright 1994; Suizzo & Stapleton 2007).
1. Expectations from Parents
Many children feel overwhelmed by pressure from parents or peers to perform at a high level in school, which often has no basis in reality or makes no sense.
Unrealistic expectations can have a detrimental impact on children’s mental and emotional health, leading to stress and depression that in turn diminish their self-worth.
Unrealistic expectations can arise from a parent’s desire for their child to succeed in a particular area of study or be influenced by media depictions of successful people in various fields. Young people in particular are especially vulnerable to such expectations from others since they typically have not fully developed cognitive capabilities yet.
Finally, the key to keeping kids from having unrealistic expectations is awareness of their individual strengths and abilities. This will enable parents to set realistic yet achievable goals for their kids and motivate them to strive for excellence.
It is essential to remember that your parenting style will be informed by your own experiences and what worked for you as a child. If you find yourself parenting out of habit or expectation of what your parents wanted for you, chances are good it won’t go as planned.
One of the greatest mistakes parents can make is trying to mold their children into their own ideal image of what they think their child should be. This may lead them down a path toward rigidity or overly strict discipline, which in turn could negatively affect social development and self-esteem in their offspring.
Girls are especially vulnerable to this kind of rigidity, as they may feel pressured into obedience or else face consequences. Furthermore, girls tend to experience low self-esteem due to feeling like they don’t measure up to their parent’s expectations.
Unrealistic expectations can have a detrimental effect on your child’s academic performance and general wellbeing. Remember that as their most trusted guide, it is best to consider their interests and strengths when setting objectives for them.
2. Expectations from Peers
Parents’ expectations of their children to achieve academic goals that are beyond their capacity can be an effective motivator to work harder and boost self-esteem and belief in one’s capabilities. Nevertheless, it’s essential to recognize that these expectations may not always be realistic.
Studies we reviewed indicated that parental expectations about their children’s future academic performance are heavily shaped by their previous educational experiences (Glick and White 2004; Hao and Bonstead-Burns 1998), particularly among Asian American families. Some researchers suggest this racial/ethnic difference may be related to differences in how parents perceive their own academic capabilities (Bandura et al. 1996; Carpenter 2008).
Studies comparing student expectations across different ages have noted a strong association between younger children’s expectations and their parents’ (Benner & Mistry 2007; Seginer 2010).
There is evidence to suggest the strength of the correlation between parents’ academic expectations and their students’ expectations varies across races/ethnic groups. For instance, some studies have noted that Latino parents held lower expectations than other ethnicities due to beliefs about their child’s intellectual capacity as well as perceived difficulties providing support for academic learning. These results could be explained by factors such as parental beliefs about intellectual potential or perceived difficulties providing such support.
Studies have suggested that Latino parents tend to place more value on their children’s moral development than on academic achievement (Hollay and Cooper 2002). Furthermore, many Latino parents do not communicate expectations regarding academic progress with their kids or are less involved in their children’s academic pursuits than non-Latino parents are (Carpenter 2008; Stanton-Salazar 2001).
Even if their child has excelled in the past, parents may find it challenging to help them reach the same level of success at a new school. This could be due to either inaccurate reflections of academic abilities or an insufficient grasp on the new curriculum.
3. Expectations from Society
Unrealistic expectations can create anxiety and stress in individuals, making it difficult for them to live up to their own standards of achievement.
Studies have indicated that young people often internalize the unrealistic expectations society places on them. This includes expectations regarding academic achievement and career objectives, how they should look, and what they should own.
Unrealistic expectations can be especially damaging for young people suffering from emotional and behavioral issues like depression, anxiety, or substance abuse. When excessive demands are put upon them, they may experience feelings of emptiness and failure which ultimately erode their self-worth and confidence.
Furthermore, those who fail to meet these unrealistic expectations face a number of negative outcomes, such as feelings of rejection and isolation. Unfortunately, sometimes parents set these unrealistic standards without realizing the struggles their children face in school and life.
Studies have repeatedly demonstrated the powerful influence parents have on their children’s academic outcomes. These investigations have connected parental expectations to students’ grades, standardized test scores and persistence in school.
However, these results have not been replicated across racial/ethnic groups in families with differing SES levels. A variety of factors could account for these discrepancies, such as when children were measured for parental expectations, how those expectations were elicited, and variations in family SES across different ethnic groups.
Although parental expectations are of great significance, few scholars have taken a systematic look at how race/ethnic differences in expectations shape student academic trajectory. This article takes an innovative approach and uncovers four mediation processes through which high parental expectations affect children’s progress, along with how these processes are related to racial/ethnic status.
The Pygmalion Effect, first proposed by early sociologists, suggests that parents’ expectations about their children’s future achievement can motivate and inspire them to reach higher achievements (Haller and Portes 1973; Reitzes and Mutran 1980; Rosenthal 1974). This phenomenon, commonly referred to as the “internalization of norms,” has been extensively researched; however, more investigation is needed in order to pinpoint exactly why this works.
4. Expectations from Others
In some relationships, people may have unrealistic expectations. These could include how much each partner should contribute to the relationship or what each other can expect of them.
Unrealistic expectations can lead to stress, dissatisfaction and depression. Fortunately, you have the power to rework your expectations in order to create more reasonable ones so that you feel happier and less overwhelmed.
A licensed mental health professional can assist you in reframing your expectations and moving toward a more realistic way of living. While it won’t happen overnight, making changes will bring huge rewards and an enhanced sense of peace in your life.
Another essential thing to remember is that other people’s expectations have nothing to do with you and only stem from their own insecurities. You don’t have to agree with these demands, and ultimately it is up to you how your life should progress.
It is essential to set realistic expectations when setting goals. This means basing your plans off what you can actually achieve and not based on a fantasy of what you think you might achieve or believe.
If you expect yourself to achieve something without effort, it likely won’t go as planned. Furthermore, expecting yourself to reach all goals that you set for yourself may not be realistic either.
But you can still achieve what you desire in life if you put in the effort. All it takes is the right mindset, patience and willingness to collaborate with others who can assist along the way.
Furthermore, it’s essential to acknowledge your limitations when you fall short of an expectation. Although this can be challenging, doing so will make you more forgiving of yourself and others who fail you; moreover, acceptance and appreciation of those things in life which cannot be changed are invaluable assets.
