Over the past months, videos featuring middle class white women named Karen have taken over social media platforms. These individuals appear to be having massive meltdowns over things that really aren’t their responsibility and screaming hysterically about issues that don’t belong to them.
The Karen meme has often been derided for being offensive to women. Yet it can teach us important lessons about customer engagement if we listen closely enough. Listening to Karens may yield valuable insights for improving service or product offerings or discovering something completely unexpected!
1. Know Yourself
Karens are an anomaly. While most customers provide constructive feedback to make your business stronger, a Karen will do everything she can to break it apart. She loves to complain, insult and demand; often calling up management or leaving $800 worth of returns due to poor internet connection issues. They typically sport blonde bob cuts with short bangs. Karens often tell stories that change the facts entirely while frequently saying things such as, “I just want respect”.
Karens tend to be narcissists. Narcissism is a personality disorder in which individuals exhibit grandiose thoughts about themselves as superior, entitled to special treatment, and possessing an obsessive desire to defend their rights. Karens display this characteristic by complaining, demanding, and placing blame for their issues upon others.
Knowing your limits is the key to successfully dealing with Karens. By understanding your boundaries clearly and setting clear communication and booking policies for clients who encounter Karens, businesses can avoid miscommunications that lead to altercations – using PocketSuite’s smart campaigns feature can automate this process by sending each happy client an invitation for Google Business Reviews so you have a portfolio of reviews you can draw upon during future encounters with this kind of individual.
2. Know Your Limits
An important ingredient to leading a balanced and fulfilling life involves setting strong and effective boundaries. Boundaries enable us to say “yes” only to those things which matter and decline invitations from those that don’t, thus helping reduce energy-zapping emotions such as annoyance and frustration while experiencing more life-giving emotions such as peace, joy and satisfaction.
Establishing and asserting boundaries isn’t an easy journey, and often takes practice to achieve. Consulting a therapist or coach for support during this journey may prove invaluable when learning how to assert boundaries or deal with other’s reactions to your requests for change.
Karen is an elderly white woman characterized by blonde locks cropped into an asymmetric bob, who believes it to be her right to complain about everything from juicer temperature settings to waiting too long for long island iced tea deliveries. She represents white entitlement and has become the subject of viral memes parodying her behavior.
Unfortunately, the negative stereotype of Karens can apply to any group who feel entitled and self-important and act out inappropriately. Making Karen a source of insult doesn’t serve anyone’s interests and in Jewish terms is considered derogatory speech (lashon hara).
For your own happiness and wellbeing, setting boundaries can help. Doing so allows you to set limits with those closest to you so when confrontation arises with those who do not respect those limits they won’t be able to manipulate or abuse you; they will have to find another outlet for their energy.
3. Listen to Yourself
Over the past several months, the term ‘Karen’ has come to symbolize middle-aged white women whose sense of entitlement has led them into public displays of aggression and rage. Instagram pages like @karensgoingwilds have shared videos featuring Karens calling the police on people, blocking them out of parking lots, and screaming without reason – something experts attribute this behavior to both their belief in themselves as superior and their desire for power over others.
No matter their motivations, one thing is evident: an angry Karen does not know their own boundaries and therefore can be dangerous. Luckily, you can learn to recognize one and take measures to avoid her and her rage.
At first, it is essential that we pay attention to ourselves. If you find yourself angry over something as simple as getting full-cream milk instead of skinny or being denied change at a grocery store clerk’s counter, ask yourself: is all of this really worth my trouble? Usually it isn’t.
Holly Herzog is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in helping individuals, couples and families navigate difficult life events such as divorce, loss of loved one, medical diagnoses and major life changes such as medical diagnoses or life transitions such as medical diagnosis. She works with both adolescents and adults using various therapeutic approaches including CBT, solution-focused therapy, mindfulness meditation and DBT for depression anxiety grief loss relationship issues and anger management; trauma survivors as well as those seeking anger management help are welcome! Holly earned a master of clinical mental health counseling degree from Fairfield University; you can reach her via her website or at her office location in Fairfield CT.
4. Listen to Your Partner
“Karen” is probably familiar, or at least familiar to someone you know, to anyone living under a rock. The term refers to middle-aged white women whose entitlement often manifests itself into public displays of anger; Instagram pages like @karensgoingwilds have documented many incidents such as calling police on people holding leashes incorrectly or blocking parking lots with parking spots for themselves and others. It appears this phenomenon gained momentum during the coronavirus pandemic as many Karens used its spread as an excuse for their violent actions.
When dealing with Karens, the key is understanding their perspective and listening carefully to their tales of woe. Once you know more, some of their seemingly unreasonable reactions will begin to make more sense.
Finding something you both agree upon – even if it’s simply that something isn’t right – can help move things along more efficiently. One strategy to accomplish this goal would be finding one thing about which you both can agree, showing your partner you’re listening and taking steps toward deescalating an argument.
Dani Weller, customer service team leader of Bionic’s business comparison services, recently shared her advice for dealing with Karens. She recommends remaining calm while explaining situations objectively rather than emotionally.
Avoid generalisations as these will only exacerbate an already heated argument. Ask for details and try not to use phrases like “always” and “never.”
5. Listen to Your Kids
Karens can be difficult to deal with, especially if they’re your children, but by learning to remain calm yourself can teach your kids about respect for both themselves and others.
Anger is an inherent part of human emotion, but when allowed to get out of hand it can become dangerous. If you find yourself often lashing out at your children and shouting in anger at them, seeking professional assistance to learn new strategies for controlling anger and communicating better with your children could help immensely.
When your child is having an emotionally charged moment, taking a step back may help them calm down. Take a deep breath and imagine yourself somewhere peaceful like a meadow or riverbank will allow you to regain composure while communicating to them that such behavior is unacceptable.
Remembering your child is not rubber and their anger is often an expression of pain; trying to ignore or suppress it will only compound their discomfort and create more discomfort in the future.
Utilizing positive discipline techniques such as time-outs can be an invaluable way to teach children to effectively deal with their anger. Instead of punishing your child when they become frustrated, encourage them to take a time-out in a suitable spot at home or school – this will show them they can relax without punishment, while simultaneously teaching healthy coping mechanisms for the future.
Don’t get too caught up in Karen being “Karen”, forgetting they’re only trying to communicate their needs. Even if their behavior seems annoying to you, it isn’t your responsibility if they find themselves involved with an unhealthy relationship partner.
