Emotions can be intense. Sometimes they’re also conflicting. Learning to hold and honor both emotions is an invaluable skill to develop. This book shows both as valid, and neither should be judged as more valid than another.
Vivid illustrations capture a young girl’s varied emotions — from exploding like a volcano to taking deep, steady breaths — in this book that normalizes anger while teaching children coping skills. Ages 4-8.
1. Breathe Deep
Breathe Deep offers inspiration, instruction and amazing illustrations in order to present an unparalleled guide on the transformative power of breathing. Breathing may seem natural to us all; when focused on and improved through improved patterns it can significantly decrease stress and anxiety levels.
Deep breathing aims to relax you by shifting from sympathetic nervous system–which regulates fight or flight responses–to parasympathetic nervous system responses that control rest and digest responses in your body. Deep breathing can be used anywhere and is an excellent way to calming both mind and body.
Start by finding a comfortable place to sit, closing your eyes and visualizing yourself in an intensely stressful situation. Feel your chest tighten as your breathing quickens as your anxiety rises. Take some deep breaths afterwards and observe how your feelings change afterward – the more often this exercise is repeated, the simpler it will become for you to remember when feeling overwhelmed by emotion.
Experiment with various breathing patterns until you find one that suits you, but a good place to start would be square breathing: inhale for four counts and exhale six counts. Gradually increase this number until eventually being able to do them for at least 10 counts each.
Mindfulness is key to successful deep breathing. By focusing on your breath and acknowledging the emotions you’re feeling without labeling them as good or bad, mindfulness helps you recognize them without assigning meaning to them. Combine deep breathing with mindfulness to see if it has an effect on anxiety levels – be patient; mastering this skill takes time; don’t give up just because results don’t show right away!
2. Take a Break
At times, intense emotions can be dizzyingly disorienting and it can be easy to become paralyzed by an outpouring of conflicting feelings. When your emotional responses start taking over, it is essential that you take some time out for yourself. Emotional regulation skills can help you manage and understand the intense emotions you’re feeling. Furthermore, practicing acceptance involves accepting all your feelings without labeling them “good” or “bad.” Instead of dismissing or downplaying your feelings, try exploring their meaning. For example, anger might indicate there are deeper issues to address in your relationship that should be dealt with immediately.
If you’re in a long-term romantic relationship, disagreements and arguments may become part of its natural course. If, however, neither you nor your partner can seem to reach agreement on issues important to both of you, taking a break may be in order.
As part of your break, you may choose to limit or discontinue contact, establish goals (such as working on self-care) and agree upon a timeline that will allow for check-ins once the break has concluded. Some couples also choose marital therapy sessions during a break in order to work through difficult issues together.
Whatever your goals for taking a break are, both partners must remain engaged with it and are invested. If one partner checks out, or gives up altogether, then your break won’t succeed; but if both of you commit to taking the necessary time and space needed for self-examination and emerging stronger (whether through reunion or separation), your break can succeed.
3. Meditate
Meditation can be an excellent way to reduce stress and gain clarity of thought. While this practice can be done anywhere, finding a quiet spot with no interruptions will allow for maximum results. Sit comfortably either in a chair or cross-legged on the floor (whichever suits you), and focus on breathing through deep inhalations into your stomach followed by slow exhalations – returning whenever your mind wanders – bring it back onto breathing again – not berate yourself if that occurs during meditation! The key here is not beating yourself up over what may occur during meditation – the key is not becoming frustrated if that happens repeatedly during a sitting session!
Remind yourself that your emotions are completely normal and okay to experience; indeed, they help us make sense of the world. But finding constructive ways to express them may prevent them from becoming overwhelming.
Try expressing your emotions through journal writing or art therapy, going for a walk, listening to music that soothes you or simply talking with friends about how you are feeling. Avoid bottling them up as this may lead to stress and mental health problems later.
Other meditative practices involve emphasizing your sense of place by visualizing a calm place like the beach or forest and trying to experience what it would be like there through all five senses (such as hearing the waves hitting shore or feeling soft grass beneath your feet). Some individuals even find it beneficial to physically step away until their emotions have settled down.
4. Talk to a Friend
Once you’ve had some time to compose yourself and feel ready, reach out to someone about your concerns – be it another close friend, mentor, therapist, counsellor or even GP (depending on the nature of your issues and feelings).
Communication is key, so choose a time and place convenient for both of you to talk. Face-to-face meetings often work best as it allows you to read nonverbal cues more readily; however video chat or phone calls also work equally as well.
As part of your conversation, try to be as straightforward and honest about how their actions have affected you. While it’s never easy for people to hear that they have upset or hurt someone else, be respectful when relaying this information. Additionally, helping identify triggers could enable better avoidance or management in future incidents.
At times, it may be tempting to force your friend into opening up, but doing this may backfire and create more strain than necessary. Pressuring or pressurizing can make them feel pressured into opening up to you when they already feel overwhelmed and can even become stressful for them if the discussion becomes heated during discussion – respect that boundary and let them know you’ll be available when they need someone. It may also help if plans exist if conversation becomes uncomfortable such as taking breaks to reduce tension.
