Have you encountered entitled white women displaying violent public tantrums and demanding to speak with managers regarding store policies or restaurant service? Their demands often escalate into hysterics, racist rants and other inappropriate displays of anger.
Experts have coined them the “Karens,” and their behavior seems to be on the rise. Yahoo Life interviewed experts regarding what traits might characterize Karens.
1. Unyielding Demands
Karen Narcissists are masters at creating drama. From loudly complaining in public or shouting at staff to demanding to speak to a manager, she relishes creating disruption wherever possible and will do whatever it takes to gain her position in the limelight. If you have ever lived with one, you understand their toxic and sometimes humiliating behaviour: daily tasks become cumbersome while even going out in public can turn into an anxiety-inducing nightmare as everyone snaps out their phones to record her unruly and unreasonable actions.
Narcissists tend to be harsh critics, always picking apart every aspect of her experience from restaurant service and temperature of her coffee to her wardrobe choices and clothing quality. Yet she never finds fault – always everyone else who’s wrong! This stems from an inner fear that they’re somehow defective and unlovable that’s covered up by an outward show of confidence; all too often this mask only covers up deeper feelings of inadequacy and discontentment with themselves and with life itself.
Narcissists often seek out partners (or children, coworkers or friends) they can use as punching bags. People with high agreeability – the prosocial personality trait that fosters cooperation and trust – tend to make suitable targets; their high agreeableness makes them easy targets as they tend to give into any demands that may come their way from these narcissists.
Low agreeableness individuals will tend to speak up more for themselves or their beliefs and may find it harder to accept abuse; these people may view narcissist’s behaviors as unacceptable and may leave the relationship. Therefore, it’s essential that people recognize the signs and manifestations of narcissism to protect themselves and loved ones against its danger.
2. Entitlements
Narcissists tend to have grandiose ideas of themselves and superiority that often impede them in recognising their own faults or understanding how others may be feeling. Narcissists also tend to seek admiration or exploit relationships when relationships go sour, sometimes leading them down an unnecessary path of self-destruction.
These individuals also tend to expect preferential treatment from others and can often be very demanding of their peers, coworkers, and family. Their sense of entitlement can be seen through how they treat those who differ with them or don’t act similarly – often trying to put down those different in order to look better themselves.
Behavior like this may be difficult to spot, especially when they appear confident and attractive on the surface; but beneath lies someone who may actually be highly fragile and insecure. They may feel profound shame but attempt to cover it up through bravado, self-importance or self-pity.
Karen Narcissists are those with an inflated ego who use this power to cause havoc and draw public attention to themselves. They often show their disapproval at any small incident by lashing out, calling the cops when there is an argument between their children, or playing victim when there is conflict amongst themselves and others.
Studies have demonstrated the relationship between entitlement and narcissism. Furthermore, researchers concluded that people high in entitlement display different forms of narcissism compared to those low in entitlement. Machiavellianism and psychopathy characteristics characterize higher levels of entitlement; meaning those at these extreme levels have greater needs to be independent from others while being more extreme in their sense of narcissism than people at lower entitlement levels.
3. Self-Absorption
Self-absorbed individuals tend to be focused on themselves and their thoughts, feelings and affairs with no regard for others’ feelings or needs. They tend to worry about how others view them; are jealous of other’s success; can’t recognize their own mistakes; tend to exaggerate achievements/talents/mistakes while exploiting others for attention gain. Like narcissists they often exaggerate achievements/talents/mistakes for attention-seeking purposes – like other types of individuals.
Relationship partners often mirror one another in order to gain their trust and manipulate them. For instance, someone might pretend they enjoy pottery so as to gain more information about you; alternatively, they might falsely report hearing something you said during a group meeting that never actually happened and thus gaslight you further.
Narcissists often blame their behavior on external forces, like an unpleasant childhood, low self-esteem or medical condition. The key to changing toxic behaviors lies in understanding where their insecurity lies; by doing this you can effectively tackle your toxic behavior and alter it over time.
They tend to struggle empathizing with others’ feelings, making petty, childish and cruel remarks that don’t take into account what someone else needs or wants from life. Furthermore, they might avoid conversations they’d prefer not having as they cannot admit they have flaws that need fixing.
They may blame others for their insecurities, often those they love. At work, they might play favorites by giving those closest to them special benefits or privileges; this tactic is known as lovebombing. Additionally, they might add them to email distribution lists in order to control information flow and maintain power over others. Karen Narcissists tend to be cruel, callous and heartless people; yet fearing who they truly are on the inside, they cover up any emptiness with excessive drama and noise.
4. Intolerant of Others
An individual with covert narcissism will exhibit an unhealthy desire to associate with high-status individuals and events, feeling entitled to special treatment from others as they entertain fantasies of becoming superior in work or school environments. They may also show passive-aggressive or exploitative behavior in relationships in order to gain power by manipulating others.
They may express this behavior by demanding to speak to a manager at retail stores and restaurants, shouting or belittling others, calling the police on skateboarders and placing responsibility for their problems on anyone other than themselves. These individuals lack an open mindset towards life outside their comfort zone and may become angry or fearful of things outside it, including intolerant of people from different ethnicities.
Karen Narcissist lacks empathy or sympathy for others’ struggles, believing she is superior to all. According to a 2020 study on grandiose narcissism, its characteristics can be seen through its attempts at garnering attention through drama-creating behaviors or by creating drama and irritation around themselves.
Karens tend to be older women in their 50s or 60s who feel disappointed with life or feel bitter over missed opportunities; these people can use age and wealth as means to compensate.
Office bullies may cause havoc by constantly interrupting, refusing to accept no for an answer and taking over projects not theirs. Furthermore, these individuals often think of themselves as the smartest or best at what they do and become jealous when other colleagues receive recognition or advancement opportunities.
5. Aggression
There are three primary forms of aggression: reactive-expressive, reactive-inexpressive and proactive-relational. Proactive-relational aggression often takes the form of subtle actions which cause emotional harm or strain human relationships (for instance spreading malicious rumors). All forms of aggression involve some degree of intention to hurt someone or something else that doesn’t want harm done to it.
Aggression may be caused by numerous factors, including genetics or hormone imbalances. Furthermore, some research indicates that one’s tendency toward aggressive behaviors could stem from an imbalance of neurotransmitters. Working with a therapist will allow you to identify your triggers and find effective strategies for dealing with them.
Understanding how to identify Karen Narcissists or individuals who behave this way is crucial in protecting yourself from harmful behavior and aggression. Recognizing their impact can also help in understanding why some may act so aggressively towards you.
One of the leading causes of aggression is frustration and anger. People may feel as if their needs are being ignored or unfulfilled and may take this out on certain individuals or objects in response. When such frustration leads to aggression, people can often express it against specific objects or people.
Prosociality or agreeableness plays a large part in an individual’s ability to control their aggression. Individuals with high agreeableness tend to submit to demands and instructions of narcissists and tolerate abusive behaviors from them.
Karen may resort to indirect forms of aggression, such as passive-aggressive behavior or using her “white privilege” card against black individuals. For example, she might call the police on them for not stopping while driving down the street or demand being escorted by security when visiting restaurants.
