Assumptions of privilege refers to an irrational belief that some individuals have certain advantages due to their social standing, which may cause individuals to act against their best interests and take actions that go against what is in their best interests.
Men known as Entitled Kens (or Kens) pose a considerable challenge to society. This article delves into their psychology to shed some light on why they have this attitude.
Why Do Entitled Men Have the Assumption of Privilege?
Men with privilege can often make assumptions about it without realising it, leading to considerable conflict and making others uncomfortable in their presence.
Men who feel entitled to women’s affection, labor and respect often behave this way if their desires don’t get fulfilled – throwing tantrums if their desires don’t materialize and taking offense at being told no by you or anyone else.
Male entitlement is often linked with misogyny, the widespread belief that men deserve preferential treatment compared to women. Cornell philosopher Kate Manne shows how this idea of gendered privilege has come to be used as justification for unjust or even bizarre outcomes.
Sexual assaults are perhaps the most obvious example, but hostile relationships with women may also exist in other settings. A recent study indicated that men who believe they have an entitlement to the sexual satisfaction of women tend to adopt hostile views towards them more readily than others.
Male prostitutes are celebrated in Bond films while female prostitutes are considered “sluts.” This cultural attitude reveals itself when male sexual satisfaction is overemphasized and expected to fulfill male needs through female sexuality.
These behaviors may manifest themselves through bullying, sexism and other forms of violence; relationships can also suffer as a result.
One of the easiest places to witness this behavior is on public transit. Have you ever noticed some men sitting with their legs spread open, obstructing others from using all available space on the train?
These behaviors are equally offensive to women as they are to men, according to a new study, but in many ways more harmful for the person experiencing them.
As it creates feelings of insecurity that can cause emotional stress, including depression, it’s helpful to remember that even though someone appears content on the outside, inside they might be struggling with feeling inadequate and mistreated by society. While that doesn’t justify treating you poorly in response, understanding their mindset helps create opportunities to collaborate on developing solutions which make life feel less predetermined for everyone involved.
Covert Contracts
Covert contracts are agreements made in secret between two or more people without them knowing. They’re commonly used by those dating or in relationships to get what they want from another – whether that means buying dinner for them, being nice to them, or engaging in sexual relations.
These agreements often arise out of an underlying fear that if they express their expectations directly to someone, it might cause conflict or rejection – often stemming from low self-esteem and/or ineffective assertiveness.
Covert contracts in relationships can be especially problematic as they rely on minimal communication to form and are difficult to break apart. Over time, such arrangements become an ongoing source of resentment and frustration as your partner holds you to expectations that don’t match with his or her understanding of reality.
Covert contracts should be seen as an attempt by powerful men to control other people in their lives and exert power. They’re an exploitative form of control without real benefits for the person being controlled.
If your relationship involves covert contracts, the best thing you can do is be vocal about what needs you have in a relationship and express them directly. By setting boundaries and being clear about them, this will allow both of you to create more open relationships.
This will also help break up any covert agreements you are making with your partner that create hidden expectations, diminishing attraction and ultimately diminishing emotional well-being.
Communication of needs and wants directly can easily address this issue, making it much simpler for others to meet your expectations and provide you with what you require. Plus, spending time together will become much more fulfilling if there’s no stagnancy between partners.
Ungrateful Attitudes
Ungrateful people often have pessimistic perspectives of life, viewing all situations with suspicion. This makes them hard to deal with and could ruin a day.
Teenagers are particularly prone to having unthankful attitudes. Because adolescents tend to focus more on themselves than adults do, they can easily become entitled to various material goods they may own and the admiration they garner from others based on appearance or self-worth.
When they feel insecure and inadequate, teenagers can become extremely demanding of others and this can create relationship difficulties. Luckily, there are various strategies you can employ to help your teenager fight entitlement and learn gratitude.
Step one to improving an unthankful attitude is identifying its cause; usually this results from misinformation or false beliefs they’ve adopted as truth.
These false beliefs could include: If your look makes you special or lovable; If you can get something you really desire, everyone will love and respect you; Or working hard will lead to success.
Your teens can benefit from practicing gratitude with an easy exercise: writing down all the things for which they should be thankful, this could change their perception of life completely.
Your teens can learn to be grateful by witnessing what life is like for less fortunate children. This will enable them to recognize the difference between an unexpected gift and obligation and appreciate everything that they already possess in life.
Entitlement can be one of the most detrimental attitudes and behaviors you can teach your teenager, as it can lead them down an undesirable path of acting dishonestly, becoming jealous, and becoming self-absorbed. This is particularly true if they’ve been made to feel entitled and believe they deserve everything in life; such thinking could easily lead to negative lifestyle choices in later years.
Self-Esteem
Self-esteem refers to your perception of yourself and is an essential psychological concept, impacting everything from motivation and mental health, as well as overall quality of life.
People with high self-esteem tend to be happier and more active than those with lower self-esteem, often protecting others against bullying, initiating relationships, participating in group discussions and even changing occupations or lines of work if something doesn’t seem promising enough.
But having high self-esteem does come with its own set of drawbacks: it can foster narcissism and defensiveness as well as conceit and an unwillingness to critically appraise one’s potential negative qualities.
These behaviors can lead to poor self-image and an unhealthy sense of self, leading to depression, anxiety and poor interpersonal relationships.
There are ways to fight these issues and boost your self-esteem, but first it is crucial that you gain an understanding of what self-esteem actually entails.
First step to building a healthy self-image: Accept all your strengths and weaknesses with grace; practice self-compassion; forgive past errors as needed.
Next, set small, attainable goals that you can attain on your own. For instance, if your aim is to form an intimate bond with a partner, try engaging her naturally instead of trying to impress her with your sense of style or ability to make her laugh.
Having difficulty managing your sense of self-esteem? Talking with a therapist could help. He/she could also assist in creating a self-esteem inventory to provide you with a baseline measure of how you feel about yourself.
Building healthy self-esteem takes time and practice, but it is possible. Although it can be challenging to alter how we view ourselves, the effort will pay off in the end. Furthermore, remembering that every human is equal is also key to finding ways to build healthy self-esteem.
