People named Karen can appear reasonable until something doesn’t go their way; when this occurs, they become like banshees howling at retail workers or if their child performs poorly in school.
You may recognize them by their bleach blonde bobs or excessive use of spray tan products, or you may have experienced them indirectly–perhaps when their children requested more leniency during a COVID outbreak.
1. Be Patient
If you’ve spent any time online, chances are you’ve come across the “Karens.” They are privileged white women who take full advantage of their privilege to bully anyone they perceive as lower status; these antics have become the subject of both ridicule and amusement among netizens worldwide; yet these Karens remain real – which explains why so many teachers leave the profession altogether.
Karens tend to be very demanding parents when their children don’t do as well as expected. They demand special privileges or services not available elsewhere and then complain about the treatment they received – sometimes lying or exaggerating their experiences in order to obtain what they want. A telltale sign of a Karen is her bleach blonde bob haircut and excessive spray tanning use; but what really defines a Karen is how they behave.
As a teacher, it can be challenging to deal with entitled parents in such a manner, but teachers must remember they have a job to do and students need their attention; taking out your anger on students or other adults won’t help the situation – instead it will only exacerbate matters further in the long run.
Entitled Karens can be extremely difficult to work with due to their strong egos and desire for recognition. These parents will staunchly defend their children no matter the circumstance and become outraged when their actions are punished by educators or adults; often accusing these parties of bias or discrimination in response.
Attempts at deflating Karen’s inflated ego often backfire and escalate her anger further, only making matters worse. Karen will become even more determined to show their power and demonstrate their superiority – leading to an uncomfortable work environment and bullying other staff or coworkers in the office. It is imperative for teachers to remember they have an obligation to adhere to all school district regulations rather than allow these parents trample them underfoot.
2. Don’t Let Your Ego Get in the Way
Being a teacher requires patience – and not just for dealing with disruptive students. Teachers also often find themselves dealing with demanding parents who push their sanity to the brink. Luckily, there are ways teachers can address narcissistic parents without losing their temper completely.
The key to successfully dealing with Karens is keeping your ego under control and not allowing their accusations or assertions to get under your skin. While it can be easy to believe what they say and agree, letting your emotions dictate your behavior could only exacerbate matters further.
It also means avoiding arguments with Karens over seemingly minor matters that most reasonable people wouldn’t make such a fuss over, such as their child’s behavior or why their teacher didn’t invite them to an annual holiday party. Karens often complain about things most balanced people wouldn’t care about such as their child’s behaviour or not receiving an invite.
At times, teachers allow Karens to monopolize their time, even when complaining about something less critical. This teaches both the child and other students that being annoying through constant whining can become an inconvenience, while teaching parents that teachers will only listen if they belong to certain categories or possess certain powers.
Karens have become notorious for using false victimhood as a tactic; using their white privilege as an excuse, they use it as justification for bullying or threatening actions against service workers or anyone they perceive to be of lower status than themselves. Karen tears are an often-seen response when denied an impossible discount or free item.
Many teachers have their fair share of Karen horror stories, but it’s important to keep this in perspective: most teachers are simply doing their best for their students. Teachers shouldn’t hesitate to voice valid concerns with parents in a polite and constructive manner if necessary; and if a particular parent presents difficulties it would be best if you brought them directly before your principal instead of trying to resolve issues via email or over the phone so as you have evidence supporting your story and can demonstrate this against theirs.
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions
Karens often exhibit a superiority complex and feel they know more than everyone else, which makes working with them extremely challenging as they will attempt to throw anyone under the bus and falsely claim victimhood if anyone disagrees with them; crying may ensue when denied what they believe they deserve and demands speak with management or call police are made when denied something that they deem their right.
When dealing with Karens, it is essential to ask as many questions as possible and listen closely. Don’t be intimidated into answering their inquiries if doing so would be inappropriate; always stay on your guard! If necessary, decline their request politely and decline answering any further queries if that would be rude or inappropriate.
At all times when communicating with Karens, including emails and phone calls, be sure to document all interactions so you have proof of their actions if any legal action needs to be taken against them. Doing this will protect you if ever necessary.
For instance, if a Karen parent claims to be advocating for their child but continues to thwart services at school, taking legal action might be an option. Also be sure to talk with your legal department if any concerns exist with regards to Karen parents’ actions.
One approach for Karens is to reach out to an advocacy organization dealing with their child’s specific disorder or condition, in order to ensure they follow all appropriate procedures when seeking services for them.
If you are truly having difficulty dealing with Karen, professional assistance might be in order. They can assist in better comprehending her behavior as well as devising effective ways of engaging her positively.
Karens can be challenging parents for teachers to deal with on a regular basis; however, they’re certainly not the only ones. Low pay, long hours, lack of resources, media attacks and thankless jobs such as teaching can often prove too much for some – particularly if dealing with Karens regularly is something they must deal with.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
If you’ve spent any time online, chances are you have encountered someone known as a “Karen,” an allusion to those people who pushy individuals who demand to speak with managers for every minor request or complaint they receive. Unfortunately, teachers must often deal with entitled parents that demand attention and require help managing these situations without becoming Karens themselves.
No matter if it’s Operation Varsity Blues college admission bribery scandal or just an entitled parent who demands their child gets preferential treatment at school, dealing with entitled parents can be challenging. They may make unreasonable requests for privileges without regard for how this might impact other students.
An entitled parent exhibits characteristics like refusing to accept no as an answer, gaslighting others and having difficulty finding enjoyment in life, according to Stuempfig. Another sign is believing that everyone owes them something.
Note that while some Karen parents may have valid reasons for seeking preferential treatment for their children, most do not. Although valid documentation may exist to justify such claims, administrators can only make exceptions so often; thus it’s up to them to find a balance between providing equal educational opportunities while meeting individual student needs.
Parents with an entitlement mentality won’t easily be convinced by evidence provided by teachers and other school staff members, instead continuing to complain if their child receives less-than-ideal grades, consequences, or placement decisions and placing blame with those responsible.
Instead of trying to resolve issues over the phone or through email, it may be best to invite parents into your classroom for an in-person discussion. This allows you to demonstrate your seriousness in helping their child succeed while giving them the chance to discuss ways they could improve their performance. If this fails to resolve matters, bring in your principal as mediator – they could act as an impartial third party and facilitate solutions if need be.
