Peaceful resolution requires the ability and willingness to compromise. Consider whether your ultimate aim is to prove who’s right or rebuild relationships that have been damaged.
Karens tend to be more subdued than many Americans and find American directness and loud speech uncomfortable; therefore they prefer discussing issues collectively or through intermediaries.
Background
Karens provided military support for British units during the Anglo-Burmese war and resisted central authority, possessing extensive knowledge of their terrain. After Japanese surrender in 1945, skirmishes in eastern hills escalated into battle; many Karen leaders stayed behind to fight for independence.
Residents of Htee Mo Pwar were concerned that conflicts among various armed groups would harm their community and hinder collective aspirations among Karen people. Therefore, they proposed engaging a mediator to help de-escalate tensions amongst Karen factions.
Conflict Resolution
Resolving conflicts is an invaluable skill in professional environments where disagreements are inevitable. Effective conflict resolution strategies help people understand one another better, work through differences amicably and form trusting relationships. It is key that during conflict resolution processes respectful communication and active listening methods are utilized so as to avoid hurt feelings and miscommunication from occurring.
The Thomas-Kilmann Model is an effective framework for understanding how individuals respond to conflict situations. Individuals who avoid confrontation may go into it expecting they will lose; their assertive approach makes finding an amicable solution more challenging than expected.
Others enter conflict situations with an intention of winning, which can also be problematic. When approaching conflict resolution with this as their goal, discussions can become heated or the individual shuts down entirely during discussions – instead it is best to view it as an opportunity to strengthen relationships rather than win an argument.
Avoidance is another potential response to conflict that can create further animosity and division among colleagues. Individuals who choose this course of action often lack the communication skills needed to navigate an open dialogue about issues with them effectively and so end up creating further strain in relationships.
Other individuals who seek to avoid conflict often resort to blame and insult as an avoidance strategy, which can damage an organization and hinder progress on important projects.
Finally, some individuals may attempt to compromise by yielding to one party in an attempt to solve minor issues without impacting larger organizational goals. It’s essential to “choose your battles wisely” and avoid allowing small issues to escalate into heated disagreements.
To hone your conflict resolution skills, practice by reflecting on how you have handled disagreements in the past. Think back on any situations which made you uncomfortable or angry and consider how these conversations were resolved. Or play “The Conflict Word Game.” When hearing “conflict”, take some time to process how that word makes you react before writing them down on paper.
Communication
Effective communication is one of the keys to managing conflicts successfully. This requires making sure your partner knows you understand their words and feelings, and validating those emotions so they know it’s real and important to them.
Maintain a respectful dialogue. If your mind begins wandering while talking to your partner, take a break and return later when better focused – rather than storming out or walking away angrily without ever returning to continue the discussion.
Difficult conversations should ideally take place face-to-face; texting can serve as a quick check-in on sensitive topics (although lacking tone of voice and body language context, it might not always work as intended). Also essential in these interactions is using “tell it like it is” communication technique: being candid about how you feel and stating exactly what needs you have at this moment in time without hiding or sugarcoating! Hiding needs will only lead to long term resentment so be direct about them all the time!
Listening Skills
Karens typically prefer group discussions as an effective means of resolving conflicts, as direct confrontation is viewed as being impolite and may feel uncomfortable with American-style directness or loud speech. Furthermore, they find our concept of time difficult to grasp; where we may rush from appointment to appointment quickly while they prefer spending more time with family and friends instead. Furthermore, men might feel awkward talking openly about their feelings in front of other men.
Listening skills are fundamental for effective communication in any form. Be conscious that your body language, tone of voice and word choice all convey meaning to the other party. Strive to make eye contact while avoiding sarcasm.
Display interest in the speaker by making eye contact, nodding your head and smiling when appropriate, or by nodding or nodding agreement to what they are saying by saying either “Yes” or “Mm hmm.” Showing these indicators shows them you understand their message and give them feedback that shows that you care! This interaction allows the speaker to know that their ideas haven’t gone unheard.
Ask questions and rehearse what has been said, so that the speaker may correct you if necessary. This process, known as active listening, helps clarify any message which might have been misunderstood or unclearly delivered.
Angry Karens are particularly preoccupied with spiritual matters, believing that spirits attack both human K’la (flesh), which governs moral behavior, and Tha (soul), which oversees physical health issues. To protect against malevolent spirits they rely on traditional herbs and charms as protection.
Be mindful to avoid making any negative remarks about Karen culture or religion during conversations, as these comments could cause miscommunication and escalate a situation. When approaching such issues in person rather than over text messaging or electronic means such as Twitter, your tone of voice and body language will better convey the message you intend. You might even consider suggesting an agreement code word to stop conversations from becoming heated so both of you can agree to take a break before rejoining in their fresh perspective.
