Karens are middle-aged white women who act entitled and rude with outrageous demands. They typically drive minivans, wear rhinestones, and possess the “Speak to the Manager” haircut – becoming a widely decried stereotype during protests for racial justice in 2020 during coronavirus pandemic outbreak.
Real people named Karen acknowledge that memes about them can be hurtful and make them defensive, yet also recognize they may help others.
1. Stop apologizing.
Karens are people who tend to be angry, entitled, and incapable of seeing things from any other’s point of view. They find fault with everything from baristas giving full-fat milk instead of skinny; to checkout operators who forgot asking them if they needed receipts; even wines not discounted five percent! A full-on Karen will frequently demand to speak to the manager over seemingly minor incidents.
“Karen” has become an offensive meme that some find insulting; however, its original intent was to serve as an ironic reference to how certain women (often white and middle-class women) act entitled and rude toward others. Additionally, “Karen” can serve as a platform to discuss casual racism and privilege.
Apologizing can be hard for women, but there are ways you can reduce your apologies. One is keeping track of when and why you apologize. This way you will understand which situations require one versus which do not.
Making sure clients sign contracts prior to working together can also help ensure no awkward apologies arise – it will make sure they understand your policies, prices and responsibilities so you’re less likely to deal with angry Karen who refuses to pay or has unreasonably high expectations.
If you have a contract, showing it to Karen can often be enough to set her straight and prevent further escalated situations. This should bring clarity as to her obligations under its terms and conditions when signing. It will likely force Karen out of any aggressive behavior.
2. Stop trying to change the subject.
Anyone working in service industries has likely encountered Karen. While these customers have always been part of business operations, social media (particularly TikTok) has brought them even closer to public view.
Karens often feel aggrieved because their needs or preferences aren’t being met by those they interact with, which often includes workers or businesses they interact with and are unwilling to listen or make concessions for. Their lack of empathy makes working with them challenging, leading to rapid behavioral reactions which quickly spiral out of control.
People who enjoy degrading others and damaging reputations often use online reviews or video footage of them in your store or restaurant as tools of abuse to do just that. Unfortunately, it’s easy to fall prey to their false accusations against you and trust in their convincing arguments against you.
Against an unreasonable Karen, the best course of action is to remain calm. Doing this will give you more power and make her reconsider her behavior; perhaps once she sees that she is being unreasonable she may change.
Implementing contracts is another effective way of handling an unruly Karen. Contracts allow you to set expectations clearly, as well as ensure your clients understand your policies, pricing, responsibilities and remuneration policies. Contracts also reduce the risk of wild Karen ruining your reputation with one negative review while protecting you from being taken advantage of. PocketSuite’s smart campaigns can send happy clients reminders about your policy before booking an appointment.
3. Stop defending yourself.
All service workers will likely have experienced at least one “Karen experience”. From entitled women with an asymmetrical bob demanding to speak to the manager to those expecting discounts for paying full price, these customers are notoriously difficult to deal with. While initially meant as a term to call out problematic older white women who act inappropriately, over time “Karen” has evolved into a derogatory stereotype used against female customers — which has many actual people named Karen feeling offended by its use in such negative ways.
When dealing with an angry Karen, your initial impulse may be to defend yourself. While it may feel natural to respond defensively with insulting remarks or throw back a barrage of accusations at her, this only serves to escalate the situation and escalate Karen’s outrage further. Instead, try understanding where she’s coming from before taking a step back from the argument.
Karens thrive on drama and are quick to blame others when they feel wronged. Unfortunately, Karens can threaten businesses through negative Google reviews or social media posts; therefore it’s wiser to put your best foot forward by having all policies and pricing documented before starting work with new clients; this will both set reasonable expectations between parties as well as make it harder for Karens to challenge your practices as a business.
Contracts are an excellent way of protecting your business from disgruntled Karens, but it is crucial that both parties sign the document. Doing this makes it much more difficult for Karen to dispute your terms and conditions because she can show proof that both of you agreed upon its contents in writing.
4. Stop defending your business.
Representing your business can be very tempting when someone like Karen attempts to intimidate you into giving her what she wants – for example by trying to force you into offering discounts or services free of charge; she may also use social media as an attack vehicle against your company. But it’s important to remain calm and remember that Karen isn’t the only person with legitimate complaints at businesses; in many instances those with negative experiences tend to place all blame squarely on those in charge or make assumptions that the individual in charge is somehow dishonest or negligent.
Though initially coined to describe older white women, “Karen” has evolved into something far more derogatory and offensive. Now used by people of all ages and races alike to refer to any customer who seems entitled or hostile, “Karen” has now become a meme used as an insult against older white women.
Karens themselves have begun to be uncomfortable at how their name is being used in these memes online, although many still use it jokingly but are aware that these jokes could easily become offensive for some individuals and turn into offensive terms against certain groups.
For best results when dealing with Karens, the key to successful communication is professionalism. Establishing a clear cancellation policy to protect against being taken advantage of by these customers will go far in protecting yourself against being taken advantage of and reduce cancellation fees to zero – hopefully putting an end to those more unruly Karens who try to bring down your business with just one bad review!
Chances are, you won’t come face-to-face with an angry Karen often; but when the occasion arises, knowing how to approach and deal with her without being rude or allowing her to harm your reputation is essential.
5. Stop apologizing.
Karens thrive on confusion and uncertainty, so it’s crucial that you communicate clearly and directly with them in order to prevent any attempts they might make to pressure you into giving discounts or free services that violate company policy. Make sure clients know the cancellation policy so they know if they cancel without prior notification or do not show for their appointment, charges will apply and a service charge may apply – be sure they know if their appointment cannot be scheduled due to non-show!
No matter your opinion of Karens, try to remain calm when dealing with them. They often enjoy stirring things up or getting under your skin so it is best to avoid giving them the satisfaction of seeing you get upset.
Apologizing should also be avoided; sincere apology often comes across as insincere and can come across as weak. If you find yourself constantly apologizing, take note of why and who it’s directed toward, as you might be trying to avoid confrontation or gain approval from others by making excuses. Track your apologies over a week to gain insights.
If you find it hard to stop yourself from apologizing, try replacing “sorry” with a playful word that you use to mock yourself for making unnecessary apologies. Associating making them with something embarrassing will help break the habit of constantly saying sorry without needing to. In addition, consider exploring your relationships to determine if needing to apologize is caused by unhealthy dynamics in them; by tracking apologies you can learn how to stop doing it yourself and stand up for yourself and your business.
