Teacher need to face many challenges in their jobs, one of the more daunting being dealing with an angry Karen parent.
They relish in stirring up chaos and upsetting people to gain attention, belittling colleagues, shouting at them and demanding to speak to managers as ways of venting their ire.
1. Listen.
First and foremost, teachers need to listen with respect and kindness when speaking with parents. Even if frustration or irritation begins to surface during your discussion with them, avoid reacting immediately – doing so could escalate the situation even more! Instead, take a deep breath before continuing with dialogue.
Parents who micromanage and criticize their child’s teachers usually do it out of fear for them and their child. They fear they won’t receive an appropriate education or fall behind academically, leading them to demand advanced placement courses regardless of test scores and teacher recommendations; or complaining to principals that certain teachers are discriminatory towards them when their grades drop significantly or homework becomes challenging.
Parent’s complaints that their children are given too much or too little work and not receiving sufficient assistance from teachers is also commonplace in Karen schools, and teachers need to understand that such fearful reactions have an adverse impact on classroom environment.
At a meeting, pay careful attention to parent complaints and questions. If they represent an important concern, make sure that during your response, it is clear what action will be taken to address them – this will demonstrate that you take them seriously.
After the meeting has concluded, make sure to arrange another one and discuss what has transpired with parents who were rude and/or threatening during it. It may be necessary to call them in for a private meeting outside school in some instances; when this is done, make sure you repeat back what has been heard as evidence that you were listening to what they had to say.
2. Stay Calm.
As an educator, maintaining self-control when dealing with hostile parents can be challenging. Staying calm is especially challenging when they belittle your professional skills or talent as a teacher.
Karens teachers often become consumed in the grind of daily operations and become disenchanted in their jobs, leaving them exhausted and miserable in their positions. Feeling stuck in an unpleasant job that no longer brings any satisfaction can cause tremendous amounts of burnout; many may begin doubting themselves and their teaching abilities – this may lead to depression and other forms of mental health concerns.
An effective strategy for dealing with Karen parent hostility is to remain calm and remember they are not your friends. Take a step back, recognize their anger is not about you or teaching, it is their personal frustrations and issues being expressed, then set your focus back onto staying zen and staying away.
One of the best steps that you can take is seeking advice from administration (individually or as part of a faculty meeting) regarding how best to handle hostile parents. They might offer helpful tips that will allow you to be an efficient teacher while maintaining emotional equilibrium in yourself and those around you.
If your child has expressed discontent with a teacher, it’s essential that you discuss this openly. Talking with other parents might provide additional insight as well. If it seems necessary, address these concerns to the principal or administrators if necessary – teachers have limited resources at their disposal, and spending too much time or energy dealing with angry Karens may mean less attention for all other students.
3. Take Notes.
Notes are an effective way to show that you are participating actively in any discussion and help keep track of anything upsetting that a parent says. They also show your dedication to class and demonstrate an eagerness to do well – which teachers love! Teachers appreciate when students take an interest in what’s being discussed in class.
If you are worried that you might forget what was discussed at a parent-teacher conference, make a list and bring along a notebook to keep calm during conversation. Note that only writing down information during teacher-student conferences with permission from teachers; any other meetings must not include note taking.
Karen parents present an ongoing problem for educators and school administrators. These white women tend to use their privilege against people of color, service workers or anyone they perceive as having lower status than them – whether this means complaining of discrimination against themselves and then turning around and blaming those same victims of wrongdoing for it all. Karen parents are notorious for using lawnmower parenting tactics which attempt to remove obstacles that would impede their children’s education or self-esteem development.
Dealing with angry Karen parents can be extremely draining for teachers and the entire staff, creating an intense work environment. Therefore, all educators must learn how to defuse such situations quickly in a way that preserves energy and protects energy reserves so as to prevent burnout. Education World’s “Principal Files” team will address some of these practical topics this month; you can check past issues of “Principal Files” for useful classroom management tips in times of trouble.
4. Schedule a Meeting.
Karen parents can become extremely angry if their concerns aren’t taken seriously by teachers, prompting them to threaten administration or escalate the situation further. Teachers should recognize such behavior promptly and act swiftly to address it.
One effective approach is to organize an in-person meeting quickly after parents complain, giving them an opportunity to air their grievances without being interrupted or interrupted themselves. Teachers must actively listen during this meeting; and provide any necessary documents which might help explain why their child is struggling; but beware bringing any personal opinions into this discussion; doing so could create animosity or mistrust between parties involved.
Once a meeting begins, teachers should remain calm and adhere to its agenda. If a parent interrupts or makes accusations that are disruptive to your discussion or accusatory in nature, ask them to stop immediately and allow you time to respond before responding yourself. If an attack on one of your colleagues occurs, request removal from the room immediately as well as meeting with their principal in order to discuss appropriate resolution.
As teachers must keep in mind, just because an angry Karen parent is angry does not necessarily equate to valid complaints. Anger often leads to exaggerated statements about their child’s progress or teacher behavior that can make life challenging for teachers if allowed to sway their decisions from an opinionated parent’s opinions.
5. Leave the Room.
Karen parents are an integral factor in why so many teachers leave the profession. Low pay, long hours, constant extra duties, media attacks and general teacher misery all add stressors that contribute to teachers leaving teaching altogether.
If a conference turns negative, it is appropriate for teachers to ask permission from parents to leave and arrange another meeting on another date with an administrator present. One teacher did just this in Arlington ISD and their actions were upheld by court ruling in their favor.
Although much of the advice offered on this blog focuses on Karen parents, it also contains useful advice for dealing with other legitimate concerns raised by either students or parents. Above all else, keep in mind that any behavior seen from students or parents in class is NOT your fault and needs to be addressed immediately by either you or their principal; especially in situations involving behavior disorders or mental health concerns that must be managed early on.
