Have you ever found yourself struggling to ask your manager a question? While it is natural to want to impress your superior, you don’t want to appear needy or desperate.
Here are a few strategies you can employ to avoid sounding like Karen in your next discussion with your manager.
1. Don’t be aggressive.
As a professional, speaking with your manager can feel like an intimidating task. There’s so much you need to get done that taking up more of their time would only delay progress on other priorities.
However, in order to hone your leadership skills effectively, being assertive may be necessary in order to receive assistance and support from your manager and team. In order to be assertive effectively, it’s essential that you clearly articulate what needs to happen for you to reach your goals and communicate it appropriately.
Communication should never be aggressive with your manager; aggressive behaviour tends to cause them to become defensive and therefore less effective, while it also can create resentment and conflict between parties involved.
Opt for assertive verbs when communicating your needs and wants; this will ensure your requests are clear and concise, giving you access to help without jeopardizing anyone’s needs or making others uncomfortable.
Be mindful when speaking with your manager to use appropriate body language – look them directly in the eye, speak confidently but calmly and avoid negative body language such as crossed arms or hunched shoulders.
If you’re having trouble knowing what to say, start by thinking through the situation and what the other person might be thinking. After all, chances are they know you and likely understand the issue at hand.
As soon as your key messages have been established, evaluate if further discussion should take place or simply thank them for their time before moving on.
Although being assertive may make you nervous at first, this skill will ultimately benefit your career and business. By learning to assertive yourself more confidently and taking control of both, assertiveness allows you to take control of both and interact more freely with people.
2. Don’t be defensive.
When meeting with a manager, it’s best not to become defensive. Doing this will allow you to convey your ideas more efficiently without coming off as bossy.
Defensiveness in the workplace can have a devastating effect on productivity and morale, straining relationships and making conflict resolution harder than it needs to be.
employees displaying inappropriate behavior can be difficult to manage, so it’s crucial to recognize the signs early and take corrective actions before things spiral out of control.
Employees who display such behaviors usually have underlying anxieties or insecurities, including feelings of anxiety or insecurity. Their response could also stem from stressful work environments, unfair treatment by coworkers, or power imbalance in the workplace.
This may prompt them to defend themselves with excuses and avoid taking responsibility for their actions, rather than accept responsibility. They could be acting out of learned behavior from an influential person in their lives or may suffer from mental health conditions that make them defensive.
If you find yourself engaging in defensive behavior, seeking professional assistance could be very beneficial. Counselors can provide valuable insight into identifying triggers and understanding why you feel this way while developing healthy communication strategies.
If you are feeling defensive and uncertain why, seeking advice from friends or family could also help pinpoint why. They could identify specific events or people which have set off this behavior in you.
Being defensive can be challenging, but it’s well worth your while to overcome it. By understanding why your defensive behavior exists and making changes accordingly, you can better comprehend its effects on relationships and work environments.
3. Don’t be sarcastic.
When approaching a manager for advice or clarification, try not to sound like Karen – an office stereotype who constantly complains about their job and feels entitled, trying to alter things for her own benefit and expecting to get what they want regardless of others needs.
Sarcasm can be very harmful and even offensive towards others, particularly clients or the company itself. Such conduct can quickly derail relationships within your workplace as well as damage your professional standing.
Sarcasm can be an easy and quick way to express irritation, scorn, belittlement, or disapproval – and may also indicate that one is not taking their subject matter very seriously.
As such, it’s essential that we consider the effect of our words on others. If you regularly make sarcastic comments to coworkers, this could damage future employment prospects and prevent you from getting promoted or hiring elsewhere that won’t require such negative behavior from you.
Your boss doesn’t deserve to deal with the unpleasant behavior associated with your sarcasm if she doesn’t need to, so help her out by curbing this type of language and keeping it under control.
Stopping sarcastic behavior in the workplace may be challenging, but it is achievable. By taking steps to reduce sarcastic attitudes you and your coworkers can avoid negative responses from others in the office and become more productive at work.
4. Don’t be rude.
To effectively approach a manager and request to meet them, the best approach is always polite and professional. Avoid making faux pas such as giving uninformed replies to queries or worse still showing your indifference by smiling smugly when finished – these would surely turn them off and stop talking with them in future! Using proper etiquette will go far toward smoothing over any bumps on your path towards promotion; those at the top will surely appreciate all of your hard work while at ease knowing they’re in safe hands!
Tami is a certified etiquette consultant and the owner of Always Appropriate Image in New York, NY. With more than two decades of experience under her belt, she’s eager to share her wisdom!
5. Don’t be unkind.
There’s a certain stereotype associated with being “Karen,” someone who complains about everything and requests to speak with their manager so she can express these grievances. It is essential, if possible, to be kind and respectful when approaching your manager, particularly if she is excellent in managing you. Being rude will only show her you are not truly interested in listening to what they have to say; best approach: be clear and honest in communicating your own wants/needs then acknowledge her ideas/preferences where helpful.
