Ongoing instances of entitlement appear to have given way to anger recently. Accounts like @karensgoingwilds document videos of mostly middle-aged white women shouting and screaming loudly in public places.
As the Karen meme has gained steam, it has found itself at the intersection of two traditions – antiracism and misogyny. Some recognize sexist overtones of “white trash” from To Kill A Mockingbird; while others take offense at its suggestion that these women are oversensitive complainers.
1. Look at the Evidence
Angry Karens like the white woman who called police on a Black man bird-watching in Central Park often vent their frustration in public, sparking viral memes and customer service calls that become viral memes that paint them in an extremely negative light. Media reports often label them witches, harridans or harpies–all derogatory terms for women–whine about them using privilege to gain attention or use privilege to get attention for themselves.
But that’s only half the story; Karen debate has revealed a unique and challenging dynamic at play relating to how we frame issues of race privilege in relation to women’s rights. To better comprehend it, one should look into American history that contributed to its formation of this particular meme.
“Karen” comes from an explosive moment in U.S. history when white women clashed over issues related to racism and sexism, most famously in Tom Robinson’s killing of 14-year-old Karen by fellow whites – as is her depiction in Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird who testifies that her family’s black neighbors are trash.
These moments are emblematic of what psychologists refer to as “negative automatic thoughts,” which are beliefs we hold without conscious awareness that can contribute to feelings of fear and helplessness, so it’s vital that we learn to challenge these nonconscious beliefs by actively questioning them, evaluating evidence against them, and replacing them with healthier perspectives. Here are some tips for doing just that.
2. Ask Yourself if the Thought is True
The Karen meme can be difficult for people to grasp, not only due to its association with old-school misogyny but also because it invokes so many diverse emotions and opinions. There are white women who acknowledge its sexist connotations – feeling its familiar sting of being accused of loudness or demandingness; on the other hand, there are white women who accept it and embrace its usage based on arguments such as Black women wanting a word to describe some experiences of racism should have that right as well.
What makes Karen’s debate even more confusing is its intersection between anti-racism and sexism activism, with customer service rants to calling police on Black bird-watchers in Central Park being examples. Some incidents can be very dangerous while others, like when an Applebee’s customer demanded to speak to a manager, are less serious.
Some critics of Karen have characterized it as an example of viral shaming, in which people who do something they should not have done are exposed and judged by social media users. But according to Matt Schimkowitz of Know Your Meme, who runs an online knowledge repository dedicated to memes such as Karen, it does not function like other types of memes but more specifically refers to instances when white women act rudely or make excessive demands on others.
Before reacting, it’s essential to ask yourself if a thought is accurate before reacting emotionally. Writing down thoughts you have can be helpful for challenging them more objectively – this technique works best when feeling neutral or even more relaxed than usual.
Thought challenging is an excellent way to help identify patterns in your thinking and see how reframing it more positively will make managing anger and frustration easier – along with any associated problems.
3. Ask Yourself if the Thought is Helpful
Negative thoughts and beliefs are normal, yet can become harmful if left unchallenged. Challenging such thought means finding flaws within it and approaching it from different perspectives; although challenging such thoughts may be challenging, their removal is necessary for mental wellbeing.
An effective strategy for challenging negative thoughts is to evaluate whether they’re helpful. One effective approach can be recalling times in your life when similar thoughts have arisen and then considering how you dealt with it; for instance, if you’re anticipating labor and delivery and having difficulty handling the pain, thinking back on similar experiences may help put things into perspective. For instance, recall times you experienced similar pain levels before and assess how they handled themselves as this will give insight.
As another way of combatting negative thoughts, asking yourself whether the thought will matter in the long run can also help. For instance, if you’re fearful that coronavirus infection might lead to your death, asking if that really matters can put things into perspective and help alleviate anxiety.
Consider looking at the evidence supporting any negative thoughts that come your way. While emotions might influence their justifications for negative thoughts, being objective about whether they can support any given assertion is helpful in finding flaws and disproving any false assertions that arise from them.
When confronted by someone like Karen, it’s essential to approach them with empathy and understanding. She may not be bad; she just needs someone there for her who understands. A good friend should listen while family remind her how loved they are while therapy can assist in this period of self-discovery.
As with other epithets associated with women, “Karen” can often be used as an insult. Just as we don’t use words such as bossy or ditzy to describe men, we shouldn’t use “Karen” to hurt anyone else either – it is both offensive and serves as a reminder that more needs to be done on anti-oppression, anti-racism and gender equality issues.
4. Ask Yourself if the Thought is Wrong
As most of us understand, anger can either be channeled positively or destructively; either to confront injustice directly, or for personal gain – sometimes manifested in tantrums, screaming fits and attempts at revenge; other times it manifests in coldness or feelings of entitlement – over the years viral videos depicting Karens have proliferated social media platforms, sparking curiosity, condemnation and criticism alike.
The Karen meme has come under heavy criticism for being misogynist and representing white privilege. The term refers to women who complain about customer service with tears to get what they want. Unfortunately, Karens are known to call the police on Black people even over something minor like asking them to leash their dog when in Central Park.
Karen stereotype is deeply embedded in American history. There was once a time when it was accepted for middle-aged, privileged white women to seek to speak to managers over minor matters such as poor coffee service or an unattractive haircut – this allowed these women to claim they had been wronged without risking being labeled “hateful racists”.
There are ways for individuals to change into less angry versions of themselves, however. Aside from practicing mindfulness and staying present in their thoughts, experts recommend looking closely at negative thought processes by asking ourselves questions like these:
While combatting negative thoughts, it’s important not to replace them with overly positive ones. Otherwise, this could set yourself up for failure and make managing situations even more challenging than before. Goldman suggests thinking about your feelings as you plan your response instead of following an autopilot script.
An effective way to counter negative thoughts is to understand their source. You can do this by asking questions about the story you are telling yourself and whether or not it is accurate or plausible. Another helpful approach is the “Wrong or Right?” test; this evaluates whether your thought relies on cognitive distortions such as catastrophizing or rationalization.
