Have you seen all the memes, viral videos and TikToks about “Karen”, an abusive self-appointed hall monitor who demands to speak to her manager and contacts police for trivial offenses? A business comparison company called Bionic recently conducted a study into who most often acts like Karens.
1. They are entitled
Karen has become a widely used term on social media to describe an entitled middle-aged white woman who takes issues too personally and complains repeatedly, often using white privilege to use her privilege in inappropriate or offensive ways. A popular meme features this character demanding to speak to the manager at restaurants or stores; during the coronavirus pandemic many such women were identified for their uncivil behavior and entitled behavior.
Some experts consider the Karen phenomenon to be the result of Generation X latchkey kids being raised by narcissistic boomers, learning to throw tantrums when things didn’t go their way and have an outsized sense of reality, making it unsurprising that these women struggle with understanding or believing the concept of Black Lives Matter.
These women often fall under the category of being racists despite denying it, viewing Black people as inferior and using their privilege to treat them that way. This has been evidenced in various videos such as when Karens called the police on skateboarders or attacked a TikTokk dancer-come-TikTokker for wearing masks on TikTok dancers or DJs who refused to comply with her requests to remove masks before performing onstage at concerts.
Such behaviors can be difficult to recognize, yet when identified they should be addressed immediately. Otherwise they’ll continue behaving in ways that hurt people and undermine fairness in our society. By subscribing to our email updates you’ll get daily wellness, parenting and lifestyle news that will help you live your best life – you may opt out at any time!
2. They are intolerant
Karen has long been associated with interfering white women ever since it became one of America’s top 10 baby names in the 1950s and 1960s. However, thanks to a profane subreddit and comedy sketch featuring this word as its protagonist, Karen has come to symbolize an especially toxic type of behavior and it’s time we explored exactly what that entails.
Psychologically speaking, this displays classic signs of grandiose narcissism: high self-esteem, excessive personal interest in personal attention and high expectations of special treatment. It could be an underlying trait or symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it is especially concerning among people of color who can become targets for this form of intolerant and racist behavior.
Modern culture has elevated Karen as an unofficial hall monitor. She demands speaking to managers or calling police on people she deems commit minor transgressions; or calls them when she witnesses black men walking on sidewalks who she suspects of doing wrong but cannot articulate why.
Poor Karens often cannot make sense of their actions, causing major conflicts for those close to them and more generally for society as a whole. While not all Karens may be intolerant; it depends on individual personality traits and circumstances. Those who are can be helped through therapy or lifestyle modifications; for instance by learning not to become as angry and aggressive with coworkers and friends thus becoming more accepting of differences among us all.
3. They are aggressive
On social media, Karen memes have become a demeaning trend aimed at middle-aged white women who use false victimhood and lie to manipulate authority figures into giving them special privileges or services due to being white. While they appear outraged when black people walk down the street or demand to see managers, these same women believe they deserve special privileges due to being white; using false victimhood against authority figures.
At a Berkman Klein event, University of Michigan communication professor and author of “On Account of Color and Sex”, Karen memes originated from an internet joke comparing these women to iconic figures like American abolitionist Harriet Tubman or Pakistani Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala Yousafzai; even though these individuals were recognized for their bravery and activism. Many Karens feel offended when their image is drawn up alongside those of these figures who are so revered.
While these women typically aren’t violent, many use their positions of power to intimidate, harass and bully others – often leading to dangerous confrontations when they feel their views or cause are being threatened or they don’t receive adequate consideration from authorities.
when faced with Karens, most teachers find themselves at a loss for what to say or do in response. Anger may arise but teachers want to do what’s best for the children in their classes, not be perceived as “Karens.” To cope, teachers might try calming down and finding more productive strategies, yet sometimes this can be challenging.
Not only teachers struggle with Karens, but administrators do too. Many are limited in how they can respond due to district policies that empower Karen parents and students while restricting schools’ authority; as a result they might assume these individuals are telling the truth or ignore valid concerns raised.
4. They are manipulative
“Karen” has become an epithet for interfering, hectoring, yelling, snobby white women whose sense of entitlement results in public displays of anger. Videos featuring Karens insulting or threatening people have proliferated social media platforms in recent years and they frequently contact police, demand to speak with managers or harass staffers and customers in similar fashion.
Some experts consider these aggressive and passive-aggressive behaviors indicative of racism. Others disagree and point out that to accuse Karens of racism is unfair: they simply wish to control their environments to suit themselves. It has long been used as a form of dominance against minority groups throughout history, from plantation owners overseeing slaves to white ladies luring Black men into falsely testifying about sexual assault or harassment by telling lies to authorities.
Living with Karen can be trying, especially if you live together. It can be easy to become embroiled in her toxic drama, leading to low self-esteem, anxiety and depression – not to mention its genetic transmission from parent to child. Narcissism is learned behavior which may pass down from generation to generation.
When dealing with Karen, it’s best to remain calm and explain the situation rationally. Never try to refute her arguments as this will only escalate matters further. If there’s no solution available, leave the situation. Otherwise, Dani Weller of Bionic’s customer service team leader suggests “listening carefully and showing empathy,” noting Louise and Emma as her top complaints respectively.
5. They are narcissistic
Recently, “Karen” has come to be used as a pejorative term for any interfering, authoritative white woman who doesn’t see the need to follow rules. Karens are notorious for demanding to speak to managers or calling the police for minor transgressions – it’s no surprise that young adults and members of Gen Z have created subreddits like TalesFromRetail and RaisedByNarcissists specifically targeting this behavior of Karens.
Karen’s narcissism stems from childhood experiences where she felt she was defective or unlovable, hiding this sense of shame with an outsized ego and showy behavior, but in truth she doesn’t care for herself at all. Karen sees life through rose-tinted glasses which makes her intolerant of those who do not share her views and has led to her believing everyone out there has ulterior motives against her. This could explain why Karen tends to assume everyone in existence is trying to hurt her somehow.
Karen was also intolerant of other races despite living in an increasingly diverse nation. At times she didn’t even realize she was acting racist; sometimes with help from sub-Karens like “Pool Patrol Paula,” who called the police on black neighbors; or “Dog Park Debbie,” who got into a road rage fight over an animal-related matter with Lyft drivers.
She often compares herself with women she finds more successful, such as American abolitionist Harriet Tubman or Nobel Prize winner Malala Yousafzai, to validate her own sense of worth through relationships with those whom are supposedly comparable in achievement to herself. This behavior is far from accidental; rather, this represents her effort at self-validation through associations with people whom have the same achievements.