dealing with angry or entitled Karens can be stressful for small business owners, yet steps can be taken to alleviate their concerns and bring peace to all parties involved. Luckily, steps exist which can reduce drama and help everyone feel more at ease with each other.
No matter if it’s a coronavirus pandemic or an entitlement-driven family at a theme park, people can quickly become angry and hostile for many reasons. How can we find common ground in these situations?
1. Don’t get into a fight.
In most situations, when encountering Karens, your best approach should be to remain calm and avoid an argument. That does not mean ignoring or disguising the issue entirely – rather it should involve taking steps that address it directly without creating additional drama or disrespecting those involved.
On a beach picnic blanket and experiencing smoke from nearby barbecue pits drifting towards you? Three options exist here to address these potential threats:
A) Confront them and explain that their smoking is making you sick and they need to stop immediately.
B) Since you’re polite, you continue to take a puff from the smoke pipe.
C) You ask your family if they would consider blowing away from you, but they refuse.
Just think back to a time you were walking down the street and someone threw their dog poo onto your shoes; did you throw it back at them or on themselves instead? Why do we do that now with others?
Unfortunately, there are too many Karens who use their privilege to harass minorities, service staff and anyone they consider below them socially or economically.
There may be people more prone to acting like Karens than others, with certain personality traits possibly predisposing people to the behavior. Dr. Lim cautions against labelling someone quickly as “Karen” on the basis of one incident or behavior alone – especially if this person has never met before! “Try not to make snap judgements of them too quickly if this was your first encounter; their actions could simply have been caused by an unusually stressful situation without intending to cause offense,” according to him.
2. Don’t blame others.
If you are dealing with an entitled Karen, the best way to handle them is by not accepting her behavior as acceptable. According to Eunice Tan, founder of Image Flair Academy of Modern Etiquette, such individuals tend to yell and threaten others due to being unable to express or manage their issues in an appropriate manner – often stemming from anger, anxiety or dissatisfaction with life in general.
If you want to handle an angry Karen effectively, avoid placing blame. Tan notes that people with these traits often don’t realize when they’re behaving aggressively or rudely; thus it is necessary to address their actions without accusing them of being insensitive.
Ken & Patricia were reacting in such a manner due to their warped worldview, believing that their privilege, wealth and power have come at the expense of other lives – that’s why they responded so aggressively towards protesters – they felt as if their worst fears had come true, that the chickens have finally come home to roost!
Another reason it is crucial not to blame Karens is because doing so only serves to increase their anger and resentment of you, and provide them with further evidence that YOU are the problem, rather than them.
3. Ask for help.
Rather than trying to stand up to Karen on your own, your best course of action would be seeking help instead. Fighting her will only escalate matters further and increase stress levels further.
Karens have recently made headlines around the world for their rude and entitled behavior–such as calling the police on strangers, demanding meetings with managers, and making rude comments to frontline workers. Some even go so far as forming an online service called “Karens for Hire” along with two part-time advocates and an attorney on retainer.
Etiquette experts emphasize the importance of remaining calm and listening carefully before reaching a decision. Being kind and showing empathy are also vital; after all, we’ve all been there at one point or another!
Similarly, if you’re at a coffee shop and someone makes an error with your order, remember they could just be learning their job and be open to discussing ways it could have gone better and being flexible with compromises.
If you’re uncertain whether someone fits the profile of a Karen, try identifying key characteristics such as being rude and entitled from their behavior and compare that against your experiences. Also read up on various types of Karens to determine whether you may be dealing with one; just don’t jump to conclusions based on behavior alone according to Dr Lim; it could just be they are trying to hide unresolved negative emotions – if this cannot be resolved it may be best just walking away.
4. Don’t yell.
As summertime tensions run high and tempers flare, entitled Karens can often find themselves losing it over seemingly trivial things such as not receiving their chosen sandwich at fast food restaurant; or when lines slow during lunch rush; or they find their order is incorrect due to national supply chain disruptions.
Assertive behavior and standing up for yourself are essential, but without being known as Karen. The Karen stereotype became popular after videos showing angry women demanding service or acting rudely began making rounds on social media. Karens tend to be middle-aged women with an entitlement complex who complain about everything and tend to act aggressively toward others – something most would find unattractive and unacceptable.
When facing a Karen, the best approach is to step back and assess the situation calmly. While you may try working through issues directly with them or approaching management directly for help, remaining composed throughout is key for maintaining harmony in any restaurant setting. “State facts calmly rather than becoming emotional when confronting someone in a restaurant setting,” according to Ser Lee, a clinical psychologist who specializes in relationship and stress management issues for his clients.
Some people are predisposed genetically to being Karens, but that doesn’t justify being treated badly as a result of it. If you identify as one or know one who does, it is crucial that they identify where their anger and aggression stem from, so as to address it and work to improve themselves; otherwise they’ll continue ending up on the wrong side of events–and in other people’s bad books.
5. Be kind.
When dealing with Karens, it is wise to remain calm and polite. While it is understandable to defend yourself when necessary, making public displays of anger could come across as rude and aggressive, according to experts in etiquette.
Karens have become synonymous with middle-aged women who complain about everything, are entitled and arrogant, and believe the world should bend over for them. Karens use their privilege against minority groups, frontline service staff, or anyone deemed socially or economically inferior – even going so far as filming their neighbours playing loud music or reporting minor inconveniences and calling the police on them! Their actions have given rise to memes such as Soho Karen, Courtside Karen and Coronavirus Karen – an indication of just how extreme some can become in this regard!
Although it is easy to view Karens as irritating, a psychiatrist cautions against making snap judgments about them based solely on appearances. Their bad manners may stem from deep-seated feelings of dissatisfaction or negative thinking which have much to do with both their personal and professional lives.
Whenever someone behaves like Karen, be kind and remember they could have some underlying issues that are prompting their anger and demanding behavior, according to Image Flair Academy of Modern Etiquette’s founder. For instance, if their waiter mishandles your order while at a restaurant, do not confront them directly but instead raise your concerns with their manager instead – but make sure your communications remain factual while being factual when speaking to him/her about the matter.
