If you’ve worked retail, chances are you have encountered Karens. These people stand in corners with eyes peeled for someone they can take advantage of and start pestering them until something piques their interest and they strike.
An effective approach for dealing with an angry Karen is to remain calm, firm, and avoid argumentative behavior. If possible, try ending the confrontation as soon as possible.
1. Stay calm.
Internet videos feature entitled Karens behaving badly by spitting at random people, calling employees names, and refusing to leave stores until they get what they want. While such confrontations may be distressing and distressful, they don’t require physical violence as a response from you or against an angry client.
Follow these five strategies to help manage an angry Karen and your situation should hopefully end well. Our aim with these tips is to keep your cool when dealing with angry clients or students.
1. Remain Calm
When someone is lashing out with anger towards you, their prefrontal cortex begins to shut down; to remain centered yourself it’s essential that you remain calm. Monitoring your breathing is an excellent way of doing this.
2. Listen Actively
Everyone desires to feel heard and understood, yet often lack the resources or tools needed to do this effectively. By understanding what another is feeling and experiencing, you’ll be better positioned to assist them and provide assistance as required.
3. Mimic Them
If you find yourself confused in an awkward social situation, mimicking other people can help de-escalate tension by taking into account their body language and gestures to help put things into perspective for them.
4. Don’t Argue
Arguing with an angry person will only escalate the situation further and they may believe they are right and you are wrong; when really both parties involved may be at fault.
5. Take them for a walk
Escaping from the office environment and encouraging someone else to go for a stroll may help de-escalate emotions and put them into a better frame of mind. Walking gives angry individuals space to breath, providing much-needed breathers between conversations. This may help alleviate tension.
2. Be firm.
Have you ever come into contact with an angry Karen before? You know she can be formidable; she loves a challenge but can be lethal when provoked.
There are steps you can take to de-escalate a hostage situation. By following the FBI Hostage Strategy, you should find yourself on your way towards an easier journey.
First and foremost, stay calm and remain reasonable when talking with Karen. Though it might sound strange at first, arguing or offering alternative perspectives may only serve to aggravate her further.
Another great tip for dealing with Karens is understanding their tactics. Their goal is often to provoke you by shouting or gesticulating in such ways that provoke an attack; they might yell out, gesture in response or throw toys from their pram!
In this scenario, Karen should be approached in a childish manner – without appearing patronising.
For maximum effectiveness, it’s crucial that you use the appropriate words. While this will require some research time upfront, the investment will pay dividends later.
Find and memorize Karen’s signature move as your reference point; this will enable you to better understand her motivations and de-escalate the situation. Looking ahead, think about what can be done to prevent future instances; for instance if Karen seems intent on engaging in behavior which would inconvenience other customers it might be best for her and you to withdraw before further interaction occurs.
3. Don’t argue.
Those of us who have dealt with an angry Karen know there’s no point trying to reason with them; they will not relent, so the best thing we can do is not engage, and remove ourselves as soon as possible from their gripping presence.
If someone is upset, it is always best to listen and try to understand them; this way you can remove some of their burden and help them relax more quickly.
Staying calm in these situations is often challenging, but it is essential not to let anger get the better of you. Remember that they may feel treated unfairly and want to take matters into their own hands.
Active listening techniques can also help de-escalate any volatile situations. This involves asking pertinent questions and probing further into any issue so as to gain more knowledge.
One effective strategy to do this is through mirroring, which involves following their body movements or hand gestures in order to tune in with them and become familiar with their frequency. Mirroring shows them you care and want to listen, showing that you value what they have to say and want to understand their perspective.
Another way to demonstrate that you care is by responding to their anger with empathy; simply say: “I understand why you feel angry about X and Y.”
By doing this, you’ll find that people will be less likely to continue an argument, and even if they do continue, it will likely remain much more civil and peaceful.
4. Don’t back down.
As is well-known, in order to successfully deal with an angry Karen, you must not back down. This is particularly important if she is under the influence of alcohol, has experienced sexual assault or tends towards violence.
At times, this can be an extremely difficult and dangerous situation to address. People in an emotional state tend to act out in ways they believe will bring about results they desire.
There are some steps you can take to prevent an angry Karen from becoming hostile towards you and worsen the situation. Read on and discover the five best strategies for handling her.
Start by understanding what it means for Karens to act this way – they are in an animalistic state, trying to provoke an immediate reaction out of you.
As soon as you approach them, they are likely to become very angry and hostile, screaming and throwing things around – this is a dangerous state of being, so it is vital that you realize this before entering into any discussions with them.
Another key point to keep in mind is that Karen likely will not change their mind, given they cannot control their anger, which will only increase with each confrontational exchange.
Karen is typically middle-aged white woman who displays insufferably entitled, closed-minded and racist attitudes. She’s usually also a mother with blonde highlighted bob hair who posts four times every day on Facebook.
5. End the confrontation as soon as possible.
If someone is causing you emotional or physical discomfort, you may feel compelled to confront them; but you may not know how best to manage a confrontation that will have positive results and encourage resolution of their issues.
Confrontations is often intimidating and distressing, yet can also provide an invaluable opportunity to stand up for what is right. By speaking up in defense of yourself and speaking without fear of reprisals or intimidation from your adversary, confrontation is also a chance for change that should be seen as positive rather than feared.
Handling confrontations mindfully and non-confrontationally is key to developing deeper understanding and strengthening relationships.
To successfully end a confrontation as quickly as possible, you need to be able to assess the situation and decide if risking your relationship is worth the risk. Be ready to tell the truth first before sharing your perspective or hearing that of another and collaborating on finding solutions that help reach a mutually acceptable outcome.
Once you can do these things, you will be well equipped to navigate any confrontation that may arise – be it with family, a boss, or coworkers.
If you find yourself struggling to handle confrontation, professional assistance could be in order. A psychologist or mental health provider may be able to recommend one; otherwise they could help assess if counseling would be needed or whether the situation can be managed on its own. You could also join classes or seminars focused on conflict resolution and confronting others; these classes will teach how to use diplomacy when confronting difficult situations at work or home.
