It can be challenging to set boundaries with people who are used to you being a doormat, but if you don’t take precautions, you could end up hurting yourself or others by allowing them to continue their disrespectful behavior.
Thankfully, there are ways to set boundaries with entitled people without making them angry or getting triggered. By following these tips, you can guarantee yourself and others the respect they deserve.
1. Recognize the Problem
When setting boundaries with someone who feels entitled, it’s essential to recognize the issue. Sometimes people mistakenly believe they have some special entitlement due to age, gender or race – when in reality this may just be a want rather than an actual need.
One of the best ways to distinguish between a want and a need is asking yourself what exactly you are seeking. Is it time with friends and family, attention from others, possessions, or something else entirely?
Imagine you’re at a family gathering and your difficult uncle starts making jokes that don’t make you feel good. In such cases, it is essential to set boundaries quickly and politely.
Once again, explain that this behavior is unacceptable and ask the uncle to stop making fun of you. This is an effective way of setting expectations and placing responsibility back on him.
Entitled people often struggle with compromise, negotiation, following rules or waiting their turn. Furthermore, they believe that manipulating other people will grant them success and allow them to get what they desire.
These individuals tend to be bossy, demanding, and will sometimes lie to get their way. They don’t care if others suffer in the process as long as they get what they want; everyone else is seen as beneath them.
This behavior can create a great deal of stress in your life, especially if it becomes chronic. It could also cause physical issues like high blood pressure or heart disease as well as depression and anger issues. When dealing with an entitled individual, remember to exercise compassion; they may be just as miserable on the inside as they appear on the outside.
2. Be Clear About Your Needs
If you feel as if someone in your circle of family, friends or co-workers is crossing boundaries with you, it’s wise to be specific about what needs you have from them and set healthy boundaries that will prevent conflict in the future. This way, everyone knows what each other expects and when.
To be certain you understand what needs you have, take time to reflect on what makes you happy, secure and connected to yourself. Furthermore, practice connecting with yourself compassionately without judgment or condemnation towards others.
Determining what you need can be a challenge for some people, especially those raised with distant or absent parents who were taught that emotions should remain hidden away. Definiting your needs requires courage and strength of character – qualities which not everyone possesses naturally.
It is essential to remember that you have the right to ask for what you need. It then falls upon you to ensure those needs are met.
For instance, if you need to be home at a certain time for work or pick up your children from school on Saturday mornings, make sure that everyone knows your needs and expectations. Doing this will guarantee that everyone meets their obligations and prevent any unnecessary delay in getting there.
It is beneficial to show compassion towards others when they overstep their boundaries, as this will help avoid resentment and anger. Furthermore, making time for yourself and other activities you enjoy helps keep both mind and body healthy; you can do this by exercising regularly, eating healthily, and getting enough sleep each night.
3. Be Polite
When setting boundaries with someone entitled, it’s essential to remain polite. A confrontational or condescending tone only serves to escalate the situation. Instead, be direct and let them know your needs and wishes without placing them on the defensive.
People with a sense of entitlement tend to be very self-centered, insensitive to others’ feelings, and demanding. In some cases, they may even engage in dishonest behavior to try and gain advantage.
Many times, an entitled person was raised by a harsh or abusive parent and this can shape how they relate to others. They may have difficulty negotiating or understanding compromise.
They often have an exaggerated view of themselves and believe their opinions to be valid. Furthermore, they value admiration from others highly, while being highly sensitive to negative feedback.
It’s common for entitled individuals to feel resentful and angry when their wishes aren’t fulfilled. They might be trying to punish you, or exert control over you; therefore, respect their feelings when setting boundaries with them.
Sometimes, rude and entitled individuals may initially challenge your boundaries; however, as they learn to respect them and respect you back, they’ll begin treating you more respectfully. Setting boundaries can be challenging but necessary for maintaining one’s health and wellbeing.
Uncovering and eliminating a sense of entitlement is no small feat, but it’s worth doing. This unhealthy mindset can cause irreparable harm in your life, so taking steps to eradicate it should be your top priority.
4. Be Honest
When setting boundaries with someone entitled, honesty is paramount. Lying only makes the situation worse.
Honesty makes you less vulnerable to judgement or attempts at convincing you your boundaries are unreasonable. Instead, be honest about what needs you have and why they’re essential for your wellbeing.
According to Lara Currie, author of Difficult Happens: How Triggers, Boundaries and Emotions Impact You Every Day, it is wise to consider your moral philosophy when setting boundaries. “Boundaries should be based on what you want out of a relationship as well as how that will affect your own values and self-worth,” Currie advises Healthline. “Setting boundaries requires consideration of both.”
Setting boundaries has the potential to benefit both you and those around you in the long run. They can prevent resentment, enhance relationships, and shield you from harm.
You may be worried that setting boundaries will hurt those close to you, so it’s essential to reframe this fear and see it as an act of love. When you have the courage to set limits, those in your life who matter most will respect and support you in doing so.
Posing the courage to speak your mind can be intimidating, but it is necessary if you want to maintain healthy relationships and pursue a fulfilling career. If you are constantly trying to please others, it will become impossible to reach your full potential.
Setting boundaries with people who are too entitled is essential, so be honest about what you need and why. Doing this will enable you to communicate your needs clearly and cultivate healthier relationships in the future.
5. Be Flexible
As you may have observed, people often have their own ideas of what’s fair. An entitled employee might think that you should accommodate all their requests without question.
This can have a detrimental effect on the rest of the team and their job performance. They might feel disengaged and dissatisfied at work because they feel they are not being given what they believe they deserve.
To effectively deal with an entitled person, be clear about your boundaries, explain their purpose and why you require them, then follow up with a conversation that outlines expectations. While this takes some practice, the rewards of happier and healthier relationships will be worth all the effort if done correctly.
If you’re feeling unsatisfied with your boundaries, being flexible means being willing to compromise a bit in order to accommodate others’ needs. For instance, if a family member requests help with the kids on Saturday morning, perhaps making an exception for them means getting more sleep or having time for other important aspects of your life.
Your body can tell you when someone is placing too much responsibility on you or taking away from what matters most to you. A rapid heartbeat, clenched fist or jaw, or tense muscles are all signs that someone is going too far.
If you’re struggling to establish boundaries with someone entitled, there are plenty of resources that can help. Books such as The Guide to Compassionate Assertiveness: Express Your Needs and Manage Conflict While Maintaining a Kind Heart by Sherrie Vavrichek provide helpful guidance, while Sherrie’s videos make the process easy to comprehend and apply in an approachable way.
